Real Metal, Fake Metal, Quasi-Metal?

During my endless years of website/review/forum surfing, I have come across a topic of constant debate within the community of metal: ‘true metal’ vs ‘false metal’. I have encountered (approximately) 7821301557345 reviews which complain about a band’s idealism being ‘un-metal’ and thus invalid as art. At first glance it may seem like some 14-year-old kid wanking off searching for  crunchy guitar noises and bitching about the guitars not being fast enough, but upon further inspection I found it’s closer to traditional indie-snobbery (of which I am 100% guilty of). Here’s a few things to take into account when judging ‘real or fake’ metal, or at least how I see it.

Figure A: Manowar, who are too metal for clothing.

The lyrical content is usually the most obvious contributor to whether or not something is metal. The first example of this when America started to have a metal scene in the early 80′s (which is long after British Metal existed). Metal was sent in two directions, the mainstream glam metal and the underground thrash metal (many thrash bands gained extreme success, like Metallica/Megadeth/Slayer, but the sales were still microscopic in comparison to glam). Glam bands wrote lyrics about girls, motorbikes, partying, all that kind of chauvinistic stuff I don’t really care for. Thrash bands wrote about politics, religion, violence in history, all that quasi-intellectual stuff I like to eat up. Thrash fans hated the glam bands and called them pop groups with guitars. The glam fans then…dropped out and died of overdose becasue they sucked so much ass.

In the modern metal world, this kind of thing still goes on. Nu-Metal (which is elitist slang for Un-Metal) is the subject of ridicule within the actual metal community because of lyrics, which appeal to the tween demographic (I’ll get to the music later, which sucks fat arse also). Non-metal fans don’t typically think of lyricism when they hear the guttural vocals, but most competent metal fans will snob a band to the point of death for writing shitty teenie-bopper lyrics. Nu-Metal bands (which is today’s equivilant of glam metal) typically write lyrics about broken hearts and how much they hate their lives, resulting in many emo teens relating to the lyrics. Metalcore (which is another uber-popular metal genre) lyrics often cover similar subject matter, also not exclusivley. There are plenty of quality metalcore bands, just the big ones like Atreyu suck ass. Most metal fans (who are over 14 and not emo) dig the scarier stuff about politics, religion, gore and sadism, you get the picture. Emo and party lyrics are not metal.

Figure B: Atreyu. I think their eyeliner reflects what kind of lyrical ground they cover.

The other really big thing is the actual ‘music’ element. There’s quite a few levels to this one, so bear with me. Remember that 14-year-old wanker I mentioned earlier? That guy represents metal newbies who look for the ‘heaviest’ guitar tone and don’t care about anything else. I know, that kid was me at that age. That kid will not listen to anything that isn’t low tuned or crunchy, and anything that isn’t is proclaimed as ‘pussy shit’. That’s where you get popular metal bands who either mindlessly crunch away or play simplistic low tuned riffs, that kind of stuff satisfies that your internal bigot who wants to destroy stuff for no apparent reason. Metal snobs will tell you this time of stuff is simplistic and has no musical value, it is also very not metal ! Here’s an example of a cheap two-note riff (p.s. I actually really like this song for the stupid, macho piece of shit that it is, but it’s still a perfect example of what I’m talkin’ about)

Bands that play simplistic/catchy stuff get no respect within the general metal snob community. I personally speak for most fans when I say I hunt for stuff that is: technically complex, innovative and original or something which strikes me on an emotional level which isn’t prepubescent rage. I do indeed love death-metal, which most people don’t associate with talent, incorrectly. General aggresiveness is certainly a part of that stuff, but that certainly doesn’t make it ‘lazy’ or invalid as music. Death-metal is just as technically complex as any other form of music, just the guitars are crunchy and detractors will tell you it isn’t ‘beautiful music’. Throw poo at those people. Here’s an example of ‘technical death metal’ (a sub-sub-genre rooted somewhat in jazz music).

So what is true metal? Well I think all definitions basically come down to being as un-poppy as possible, as metal fans like myself don’t want our precious music tainted by the mainstream. I’ve seen people get carried away with their contrived ideas and not like anything with clean vocals, which never made much sense to me, but that’s beyond the point. To me, metal is the polar opposite of the glamorized, packaged mediocridy known as the mainstream. I think that a lot of fans see it the same way also, thus anything that is poppy is extremely not metal. There is a fair share crappy pop-metal bands, but nobody except angry 14-year-olds like that stuff. Point is, metal snobs are just like the snobs from any genre of music, we want to hear the unglamorized and itellectually stimulating stuff as opposed to anything found on BET. Metal is obviously no less or more valid than any other genre, it all boils down to personal preference in that regard. I will leave you now with an informative scene from the upcoming Brutal Legend.