Dragonforce

The biggest name in the sub-genre ‘power metal’ today is the band Dragonforce. If you’re not a fan, power metal is that stuff with the over-the-top solos, high pitched opera style vocalists, lyrics about fantasy-type stuff, you get the picture. That’s an oversimplification, to be sure, but I think you understand.

Anyway, the most popular of the power metal bands in our lame contemporary mainstream scene is the band which this post is dedicated to, Dragonforce! 2009 marks their 10 year anniversary as a hybrid band/redundant sound dispenser. I first heard of them when a friend o’ mine emailed me a file of their song ‘Fury of the Storm’. I think I used to dig it when I was 15, until upon further examination I began to despise the band. Allow me to now bring up some irrelevant and silly arguments as to why I think Dragonforce is the anti-thesis of passionate music.

The big gimmick behind Dragonforce’s music is that their guitar playing is lightning fast. This is completely true, as the band plays at three speeds: rather fast, ludicrous speed and that point in which your speakers are destroyed because the band broke the physical sound/speed laws. The band also packs a million notes into each song, making them shred-fest extrrrrrrravaganzas. I used to listen to Dragonschwartz and think to myself “this is soo amazing!” for the technicality and speed alone. The guitar work was so ridiculously technical and fast that I couldn’t help but be impressed.

Dragonsores gained mainstream fame when their songs began getting featured in guitar hero. They are THE band in which kids attempt to ‘five-star’ songs on the harder difficulties and then post videos on youtube showcasing their feats of strength. It sooo funny to actually watch someone play a song when the television isn’t very loud. While their attention is completely devoted to the matching of colorful things on the screen, the person beside them hears the excellent acoustics of it all, something I like to call the ‘spastic-plastic’ effect. clickclickclickclickclickclickclick. Anyway, I’m trying to make a point here. The only appeal I think that Dragonforeskin has is the sheer quasi-virtuoso ‘shred’ thingy that you find on their albums.

What am I trying to say here? While speed and technicality are pleasing in a hedonistic sense, I find that Dragonforce’s music is completely emotionless and empty. I hate to sound cheesy, but where is the soul of the music? I once heard a Dragon-sympathizer on youtube respond the all similar criticisms that the band seems to get, “well you’re just jealous of the ability they have!” which I think validates my point: all speed and no heart. I like my music to either: bring out an emotion, or be extremely creative. I’ve established that Dragonforce is as soulless as the shoes of 36 Vietnamese hookers after a transcontinental marathon, but can their music be interpreted as ‘creative’?

Naaaaaah. Dragonforce sounds like an extremely generic power metal band, just sped-up beyond infinity. If you want good power metal, check out some bands from Germany, which is essentially the power metal capital of the world. Also, what about Dragonforce’s songwriting/lyrical abilities? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I’d critisize them if they were even trying. I would advise you to NEVER look at any Dragon-lyrics, which are about as redundant and embarrassing as word-play can get. Somebody should count the number of times they say words like ‘victory, darkness, battlefield, sword, bloody cave’ in their entire discography.

ANYWAY lets get some things straight before I get angry emails from fans (maybe one of my three readers likes this band). Dragonforces first two albums are good, they didn’t really suffer from redundancy. They are still emotionally retarded albums, but they at least qualify as music. That’s only half their LP’s though, so I advise you to stay away from anything newer than their first two. For what it’s worth, here’s some numeric ratings for their albums, which I’ve sat through, and often sound like one song on repeat: 2003: Valley of the Damned = 3 out of 5, 2004: Sonic Firestorm =3.5 out of 5, 2006: Inhuman Rampage: 2.5 out of 5, 2008: Ultra Beatdown= 2 out of 5.

On a personal note, their 2008 album Ultra Beatdown (lol @ lame title) was released on my friggin BIRTHDAY, along with the 2008 Slipknot album! Why did the two ‘least-anticipated of the year for me’ be released on that day? I curse the day I was born!

Here’s a song that sucks:

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