HALLOWEEN and some horror movies

Halloween is probably the most flamboyant of all officially listed special occassions. If there ever was one strangely contrived system of logic that people liked to follow which qualifies as awesome, it’s trick-or-treating. Despite those facts, this year my apathy overrides my ability to partake in any of this fun. HOWEVER, I’m still going to have some on this day, it’ll just be in the confines of my cozy suburban home.

My approach this year will be essentially the same as last year. When kids come to the door, I’m not going to answer it. It’s not that I don’t have any candy, I just plan on eating the stuff personally in full public view near the window. Call me the terrifying horror of isolated suburban decadence. The walking part of trick-or-treating drains the energy of my fat arse, thus maybe I’ll spend three bucks on a box midget candies instead. The only advantage to going door to door is the vague illusion of electicism, you always get a variety of shit and often you find dodgy looking stuff that you’ve never seen in stores. To get access to those quarky candies in stores, you gotta buy ‘em in bulk, but after a free Halloween session you have a whole lovely bunch of junk food. Unfortunately, I hate moving, so that wont happen.

Anyway, here’s a few horror movies which are actually good. None of that horror-remake and franchise sequel malarky, this is the good shit! These are just some picks that I recommend you check out.

1960 – Peeping Tom

This movie destroyed director Michael Powell’s career because of it’s liberal use of violence, shock and general edge-pushingness. By today’s standards, it’s PG-13. The reason that this movie holds up so well isn’t the then-unacceptable violence, which is actually completely necessary to the plot. This movie is held in high regard today (unlike 1960, when it was banned everywhere) is because it’s one of the most disturbing and authentically twisted movies ever made. Honestly, I find this much scarier than almost every new horror movie I see. The scare tactics rely purely on psychological immersement, in which case the movie doesn’t suffer from dated production value. The story is simply about a man who films his vistims while he kills them, although the commentary is much deeper. It’s really a dark,dark,dark study of how we are all ‘peeping toms’. This is one of the few movies to genuinely scare me, and I’m not talking about jump moments or bullshit. This is a genuinely horrifying trip into the perverted parts of our mind, it is for that reason an absolute classic.

1986 – Henry:Portrait of a Serial Killer

A terrific example of a low-budget ‘grindhouse’ movie that’s actually worth your time. Filmed in less than a month and without much money, Henry can whoop the ass of any Hollywood horror movie any day. Michael Rooker’s performance as the title role is among the best in all of horror history, the film is worth seeing for him alone. It is essentially the opposite of the popular slasher movies that were going on at the time, this movie featuring no cleavage bimbos, wise talking cops or angsty teenagers. It’s as gritty a movie as you’ll ever find, doing away with the high production values and general poppyness of your average 80′s horror flick. The only setback is the soundtrack, which reeks of crude basement synthesizers and almost becomes as horrifying as the film’s protagonist. Quite simply, it’s just about a few weeks in the life of Henry, a serial killer. It’s exactly what you’d expect from the title, just done so bloody well that it can’t be ignored. No hollywood sass, just an effective movie.

 

 1985 – Return of the Living Dead

It sounds like a cheap Romero-ripoff, but it’s more a hybrid satire and serious zombie film, sort of like how Hot Fuzz is both a parody of action movies and a serious action movie at the same time. Return definately functions well as both a comedy and a horror movie, not to mention it has some of the coolest special effects I’ve ever seen (just look at the ‘tar man’ depicted in the picture). The zombies in this movie just chant “braains” (and have a similar diet), that fact alone should excite the inner zombie fan in anybody. The gore is absurd and creative, the movie also sets up a surprisingly good zombie premise without it aping other horror franchises too much. It’s a nonstop array of colorful zombie fun.

1975 – Deep Red

If you’re the kind of person who likes idiosyncratic direction and intricate camera work, you should definately see some stuff by Italian horror legend Dario Argento. That’s the only way I can describe his movies. Italian horrors from this era had this real artyness to them which is on one level, sort of a dated 1970′s LSD trip. It’s about a jazz pianist (so already I like it) who becomes increasingly involved with a serious of murders…blah blah blah the plots less important than the general atmosphere, which is trippy and distrubing. It’s not as colorful as Argento’s Suspiria but this movie just feels like nothing else I’ve seen, which is where Argento’s idiosyncratic direction pops in. Whoever photographed this movie made everything shot look like a gothic painting, which is the real appeal. Even the explicit gore scenes are filmed so well that become more stylish than brutal. Some useless horror trivia: the moving doll in the movie was the inspiration for the one in the Saw series.P.S. I’ve seen this movie three times now and the acting is still just as corny as ever.

1980 – Cannibal Holocaust

Possessing quite possibly the greatest title in all of movie history, you can probably already tell if you like this or not. It’s a digusting movie through and through, it’s a possible contender for the most apalling movie ever. Nonetheless, it’s a completely original film, let me explain why. While The Blair Witch Project was the movie to popularize the whole phoney-balony documentary horror schtick, it was this very movie which really invented the whole idea. The ‘story’ is that some documentary film makers who apparently went to some scary foriegn country to get footage of the indigenous cannibals, the cannibals of course decide to make a meal out of our poor film makers who happened to leave the camera on while doing so.  The fake aspects are done really well (as well as the special effects, which will make you close your eyes) and the ‘footage’ of native cannibals is very convincing. There’s also a little arty subtext, but it’s ruined when one character thinks out loud saying “who are the real cannibals?”. The writers who have no idea of how to create subtext exposition, that’s who! Regardless of how disgusting it is (the gore is so convincing that the film makers had to appear in court because people actually thought they murdered one actress, the actress had to appear in person to confirm her not being eaten!), it’s still an original piece of horror cinema.

ANYWAY this shit’s tedious. Piss off. Here’s the trailer for Deep Red. yay.